12 October, week 12

Sunday 6 October;

A good day overall.  We went out to De La Warr again to see something we missed last week and then to Barby Keel’s Animal Sanctuary.  Mum saw some chickens, goats, sheep and lots of cats and had a mixture of reactions to them.  It was a bit smelly.  I had to go back to the De La Warr because I’d left my bag with my wallet inside it.  I asked if it had been handed in and it hadn’t, I then found it by where we were sitting in the cafe.  We returned and cooked a roast dinner, mum was fine but at about 5:30 started agitating to go and see her mum.  She settled after dinner and was mostly fine for rest of evening and went to bed at 10.

Monday 7 October;

Mum awake at 6:30 but I stayed in bed till 7.  Mum was in an ok mood but became aggressive towards the carer helping her to bath and change.  I asked the carer to vacate the bathroom and calm mum down and get her fully dressed.  We went out shopping straight after and the change of scenery improves her mood.  She gets restless just after 2 so we take another trip, not so much driving as we stop at certain points with a sea view and talk and then return.  Mum was fine for remainder of day.

Rik came to fit hob and oven.  But he can’t do gas and didn’t realise we had a gas hob.  Although we’re getting an electric one he can install he needs a gas guy to close off the gas supply and sign off to say he’s done it.  So Rik will come back next week.

I’ve given up on Michael the plumber who isn’t VAT registered and overpriced (I think) a job.  He’s not doing me a favour and I won’t chase him any more.  I contacted Andy the electrician who has asked a plumber he knows to call me on Wednesday.

Tuesday 8 October;

A day at work, a nice review in the morning and I worked from home after an opticians appointment.  I need new glasses for computer work, the one’s I’m using are from a prescription four years ago and my sight is definitely worse since.  As I’d had an eye test in April I didn’t need a re-test so it was a relatively short appointment.

I took a call from an care agency this morning.  They have a Turkish carer and the manager of the service is coming this Thursday to complete an assessment.  I’m putting a lot of hope into the outcome but the truth is it may still be difficult, it will depend on the carer and my mum developing a relationship.

When I got home my mum had just had a fall in the garden, she’d slipped when having one foot on tarmac and one on soil, which are at slightly different levels to each other.  She’d fallen onto her knees but when I checked there was no bruising and she told me she didn’t need a doctor or to go to hospital.  She would.  But will keep an eye on her.  After getting mum up I brought her in and she sat quietly whilst I worked from home for the last 90 minutes and then took her for a drive.  She been quite grumpy this evening, telling me she’s going home tomorrow and never coming back.  I think she’s tired,  She went to bed in her clothes at 7:15 and I got her up and back in the lounge after getting her into her pyjamas.  She finally went to bed 90 minutes later but then is restless, getting up continuously, getting into the wrong bed again and going round closing all the doors.  This is a problem because it stops the cats accessing both their food and their litter tray, it’s a behaviour that appears to be becoming more obsessive.  It’s like she’s getting up just to close the doors and can’t relax until she thinks she’s done it for the night.

In the world outside Dudley Road the Prime Minister is getting ready to blame foreigners for the collapse of negotiations with the EU, just like I’ve been predicting for some time.  The Brexiteers chickens have come home to roost.  Rather than own up and say to the British people, ‘we are going to leave, but when we told you about how easy it was going to be we were lying’ they are seeking to blame the EU.  For what?  For trying to ensure that the benefits of the single market are only open to members of the EU.  However Johnson still has to find a way of resolving the problem created by legislation requiring him to seek an extension if he doesn’t have a negotiated deal.  Will he break the law?  Will he resign?  Will he be found dead in a ditch?  If he is it will be a ditch he’s dug himself.  Actions have consequences.  He may not be prepared to face the truth but he will have to face the British public and they will know what he’s done.  He’s gambling it all on the chance that the British public are going to feel sorry for him and be angry with the EU.  Johnson’s ambition to be Prime Minister has been fulfilled.  But if you have no principles, no convictions, no instinct other than to survive, even if you drag everyone else into the gutter in the process then you end up being held in contempt.  As this constituent of Johnson’s parliamentary seat in Uxbridge demonstrates.

Wednesday 9 October;

A day at work and mum is low in mood for most of the day.  When the carer comes after 5 she perks up, they go out together then return and cook.  But when me and Penny get back she is disorientated and wants to go home again.  Anyway I sat with her and cheered her up by playing her videos playbacks of anecdotes she’s told which I’ve posted on WhatsApp.  She doesn’t recognise herself in the videos so I just put the phone to her ear so she’s just getting the audio.

A friend asked me what are Turkey doing and I replied that they are attempting to do the same as the Israeli’s in Lebanon when they invaded in 1982.  I.e. an invasion on the pretext of creating a ‘terrorist free’ buffer zone.  If you have to leave your home while bombs are being dropped overhead and before the army arrive I can’t see the Turkish army getting a warm reception.  The Israelis stayed in Lebanon for 18 years and they were so hated that support grew for the militant Hezbollah that plagues the Israeli state to this day.

I really can’t see the Syrian’s, whether of Kurdish or Arabic ethnicity welcoming the arrival of the Turkish army if it has been preceded by the dropping of bombs from airplanes that have killed civilians.  Don’t talk to me about smart bombs.  And what if the Syrian refugees that have been in Turkey, of which there are 3 million six hundred thousand, don’t want to live in a narrow strip of territory five miles or less from the Turkish border inside a country they escaped fearing death?  Will they be marched at the point of a gun across the border and forced to live in this artificially created mini-state?

Of course the real issue for President Erdogan is that he’s losing his grip on power and thinks a war on a neighbour will see his popularity surge.  But will it when young Turkish men return in body bags or disabled for life?

Thursday 10 October;

A good day overall.  We met the manager of a care service and they want to start doing dom care and my mum will be their first customer.  The manager has asked a Turkish woman she knows if she’ll work for them and today she completed an assessment and it’s all looking promising.

The manager of the care agency we’re already using for morning visits by carers made an unannounced visit today.  She is heavily pregnant and due to go on maternity leave, but there is no one to take over from her so her company will stop sending carers by 25 October.  They have notified Adult Social Care so that another agency can take over.

All in all, we are re-thinking how we make the best use of carers because at the moment mum is becoming increasingly resistant to the support they are being paid to provide.  Some days all they can do is change her out of her pyjamas into day clothes without having a wash.

Mum was cheered up by a phone call from Peri today, as she was yesterday by my other two sisters.  But afterwards became increasingly determined to leave the lounge and to go to bed.  By 8 pm.  She’s taken two of her three tablets so a not great end to the day.

The highlights are her increasing interest in choosing items when shopping.  I think it makes a difference her being on her feet rather than in a chair.  Another plus, was that she started to take her trousers off before going to bed, the last time she slept in them.

Friday 11 October;

A work day.  Mum had a better day at home but the rain stopped her going out so we went out for a drive as soon as I got back home.  Jafer was round with Bea and that helped although her confusion about who everyone is and where she is can lead to her getting upset at times.  She knows where her room is but sometimes I think she prefers our room as she’s often in there, tidying up.  The other day I noticed something in her pocket and I thought it was a photo and when she took it out I realised it was my medication.  Which she thought was hers.  This week has been hard, mum has been low in mood for too much of it and I’m being worn out trying to keep her cheerful.  Which is not working all the time.  She was restless tonight but eventually settled before going to bed.  The talk of going home has increased.

I haven’t had contact from Adult Social Care about the cessation of a service from the agency.

I phoned the pharmacy because they haven’t delivered the medication.  They phoned me back to say the GP’s are sending a prescription over and I could collect on Monday.  Seeing as her medication runs out on Sunday and she’s supposed to take four tablets in the morning it’s a bit touch and go.

Saturday 12 October;

A 7 am start.  Mum unsettled at first but I manage to steer her to more positivity.   Now we’re waiting for the carers to arrive.

The Turkish President Erdogan has declared that he wants the Syrian refugees to move to the buffer zone they are hoping to create.  The trouble is there aren’t currently enough properties for 3.6 million to live.  Even if all the Kurds flee their homes from the buffer zone they hope to create there won’t be.  That in short, is why the Turkish army are in Syria.  To try and change the demographics so that the people on the Turkish – Syrian border are from the Arabic community.

My mum is a terzilik by occupation.  Or a tailor in English.  And this is her at work, I regarded that machine negatively.  It’s what took her time away from us as children and what caused her to become disabled, being permanently hunched over that contraption from morning to night seven days a week.  She was good at it and applied herself to it like she applied herself to anything.  She did her best.









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