27 October, week 14

Sunday 20 October;

A good day overall. A couple of trips out, late morning into the town centre and the museum. We went to a hairdressers, they could see mum straight away and they got her covered up but she didn’t like the tightness of the garment. Then they put clips on her hair and she didn’t like that either. By now I was speaking to her, trying to persuade her to cooperate and the hairdresser asked if we were Turkish and started speaking to us in the language. She spoke it perfectly but I don’t know what she made of our vernacular. I think it might have been her second language, I don’t know what the first was. In any case, it didn’t matter what language you spoke, mum wasn’t having her hair cut. We asked if she did home visits and gave her our contact details. But not sure if she’ll contact me or not. I might have to get her to cut my hair first. It does need it. Everything is such a battle, even getting a haircut.

Mum seemed more interested in the children in the museum than the exhibits. And whilst waiting for Penny we sat next to a child that was shy. Mum emptied her purse but I said her mother might not want to accept her money. Mum and me are giving each other money throughout the day, its the same coins going back and forth.

Today was the last day carers came to wash and dress mum. They sent Andrea again, she did her best but had only partial success. She said goodbye to mum and gave her a hug. I hope she will be back once we’ve contacted her new employers. I don’t know how we’ll get on tomorrow, I’m nervous about it.

Monday 21 October;

A good day overall. Mum got changed and had a partial wash with Penny’s support. Because we weren’t waiting for carers we could get out of the house at 10:30 to do some shopping. It was pouring with rain so I gave the grocers a miss and just went to the supermarket. Mum took care to select a good watermelon for me. I didn’t realise she was doing it and I was halfway up the aisle with the trolley before I realised when I looked back to see no one in front of the trolley.

I cooked menemen


for lunch, it’s a kind of scrambled egg but with oil not butter and with onion, pepper and tomatoes. There are loads of recipes for this dish and I think I might try a few more out.

The care manager for the agency was poorly so called to gather info rather than visit this afternoon.

Jafer came home, it’s half term in his school. This evening he left to stay with Bea.

Mum was getting restless so I took her out late afternoon. Her mood improved but then after 7 went downhill again, feeling abandoned by her family. Her mum giving away her sewing machine was upsetting her. Because her mood was low she wasn’t cooperating with her medication and only took two out of three. However she stayed up till 9:15, didn’t ask to go to bed. I only suggested it because she was sleeping on the sofa.

I have pain in my lower back and sprayed some deep heat on it.

Tuesday 27 October;

Still in pain, more Deep Heat.

A day at work and a mixed day for mum. Not keen on being washed or changing clothes, only the top half changed by lunch time and two tablets still to take. But after a bit of food more willing to finish getting ready.

I rang Andrea’s new care agency and she’s their new assessor and is visiting tomorrow to gather info.

Jafer and Bea home when I finish work, mum is happy with young people around. We went to get something sweet to have after dinner and she picked out two bars of chocolate for them as we were waiting at the checkout. She loves to give. Money is still going round from one purse to another. Mum tired after 7 but content and not agitating to go home. I gave her tablets early as she started dozing off after 7. She was in bed at 8 and although she wandered a bit she settled by 9.

The government was again reminded that they are not in control of events when the Commons voted against trying to consider legislation in 3 days. Johnson wants an election. I loath him so much I’m perverse enough to want him to stay in power of this rotten minority government right up until 2022. With no majority they can only do what the opposition wants, like increase spending on everything. But really, an election is coming and I said this to a friend I texted earlier today;

‘I veer from optimism to pessimism politically. I remember Labour campaigning effectively last time and hope Farage and Johnson cut each others throats, the signs are good. Farage is not happy with PM and he clashes with Cummings. Plus Tories are very rude about him. On our side we need to remind people how insignificant the Liberals are. If they put 10% on their 2017 vote they’ll gain 6 seats to make 18. It won’t be easy but the battle is there to be won. Johnson is both loved and hated, there is no middle ground for him to appeal to. Keep faith. I’ve even inspired myself writing this…’

Wednesday 23 October;

No pain but I think I need to make a dental appointment, it’s been a while and my teeth are reacting to certain foods.

I woke up 5:30 to use the bathroom. Mum had her door open when I came out. I persuaded her to go back to bed and I did too. But at 6:30 I decided to get up thinking mum would have been sat on her bed all that time. She wasn’t, she was in bed. Without putting cameras in her room I’ve no idea what’s going on in the night. And if I did I would stay awake and wake early to look at them, which would be ridiculous.

A working day. A long meeting in Eastbourne that didn’t finish till 1. By the time I’d had a lunch break and driven back it was 3 so a short day in the office. The meeting was long because we had a guest speaker from another team talking to us about property protection and Corporate Appointees and Deputy’s.

Mum spent most of the day with Penny and Jafer, but when he left she decided it was time for her to go too so she did, followed by Penny. I spoke to her on the phone and persuaded her to wait for me to finish work and I would take her out somewhere. She was wearing her slippers and no coat and it was starting to rain. Mum is refusing to be washed and changed and is not wanting to take her medication. She’s had all her medication today, but this mornings medication wasn’t completely administered until my lunch break. She was fine after going out with me, she enjoyed a nice chat with Peri and was happy to talk about Cyprus before getting restless and getting changed for bed. She went to bed but I don’t think she slept as she was up after 10 pm.

39 people were found dead in a refrigerated trailer in Essex. They’re believed to have traveled over from Belguim. Terrible and upsetting.

Johnson met with Corbyn. It’s a trap. I don’t trust Johnson and think he’s trying to shift the blame. Let’s go back to the root of the issue. Johnson (and others) promise Brexit will be easy, nothing will be negative about it. When reality hits home and May brings back a withdrawal agreement that has some compromises in it Johnson votes against it twice before voting for it. With May’s authority undermined by Johnson (and others) she is pushed to resign. Johnson takes over with no intention of negotiating with the European Union. When Parliament stops him being able to leave without a deal on 31 October he decides to start negotiating. Then comes back to Parliament with another withdrawal agreement that has some compromises. But which he wants Parliament to rubber stamp without looking at the details so he suspends enacting the legislation which he could do with his majority of 30. Seeing Corbyn is just a means of trying to shift attention away from the fact that like May he has tried to ignore the Labour Party. A deal with the EU was there to be made if the Tories treated the Labour Party with respect and listened to it’s (and it’s voters) concerns. I hear a lot of bollocks about the importance of th 2016 referendum. I used to believe in Father Christmas, it doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to change my mind. The Parliament that was elected in 2017, after the referendum, was the British people deciding how the course of Brexit was going to go. They could have given May a majority to do as she pleased. They didn’t and she carried on as if it was her way or the highway. And Johnson is doing the same.

Thursday 24 October;

Up at 7:30, I couldn’t remember if I’d taken my Phenergan so took one and might have had two. Either way I couldn’t get off to sleep till after 1 am and was drowsy this morning.

We got mum ready between us. She didn’t like it and threatened to call the police but it passed.

We met the new carer with the manager of the care agency. She’s lovely and took to mum and visa versa. We stayed to chat and help her get to know mum and had egg and chips for lunch. I think it will go well and tomorrow she’s back and I’m at work. So fingers crossed. As a result of carer being here mum was both stimulated at the time and tired afterwards. And because she was tired she didn’t talk repeatedly about going back to the village, going back to look after the children etc. She went to bed after 8 but was still awake at 9.

Friday 25 October;

A day at work. I stayed away from the house at lunchtime so I didn’t get in the way. The carers visit went well but mum a bit restless today. She was ok this evening, ate well and went to the wrong bed to sleep at 8. I redirected her and helped her change. The personal care in the morning is hit and miss, it’s getting done but not without protest and upset. I tried to brush her teeth but it’s not easy when she won’t open her mouth. She did take her dentures out, but then wouldn’t put them back in until after dinner.

Saturday 26 October;

Jafer was round for most of the day, till about 5 pm. I’ve had a headache for most of the day, I took one tablet. My aversion to medication is as strong as mum’s. Mum’s had a mixed day. The essentials have been done. Her mood has been mixed, she was restless at 4, we went out. Then again after dinner but she calmed down a little bit then became restless after getting her pyjamas on, trying to go into our room repeatedly. Eventually she decided to stay and sleep in her room.

England beat New Zealand at the rugby, they were ahead most of the game and must be favourites in the final, having knocked out the team that currently holds the trophy. Will Wales pull off a result v South Africa tomorrow? We shall see.

Sunday 27 October;

The clocks went back. I’ve had a lousy nights sleep and decided to get up just after 6:30, during the night I got up to use the bathroom and mum opened her door so not sure how good a nights sleep she got either. Her first words this morning to me was ‘no one wants me’. My bones are a bit stuff, my nose is bunged up and my head feels tender. John’s flat above me has a ‘just sold’ sign.

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