1 December, week 19

Saturday 23 November;

A good day. Mum in a good mood for most of the day. Sarah turned up just after midday and she and Penny went out whilst I watched Palace lose to Liverpool with mum. She nodded off for 5 minutes in the second half so I didn’t wake her up when we equalised, only for the scousers to score again not long after. We had dinner and mum had lots of cake, she went to bed at about 8 and I will do so now it’s 10:30. Good night.

Sunday 24 November;

A busy day. Peri and Adel came today, arriving about 2 and staying till the evening. Mum was mostly ok but got upset for an hour or so before they left and gradually became more settled by about 7 pm. I cooked loads of food and won’t need to bother tomorrow. Sarah is still here but worried about the election.

I have to admit it’s worrying me too. It’s 19 days away and we’re looking at damage limitation from a progressive standpoint. Today the Tories launched their manifesto and they looked like they’ve avoided making the same mistakes as Teresa May two years ago. People are looking for an end to Brexit. The fact that it won’t happen if a withdrawal agreement is passed isn’t the point. People want to believe that Brexit is ‘getting done’. They don’t want to hear that leaving the EU is difficult, fingers just go in the ears if you try to have that conversation. The Labour Party has tried not to take sides and present a way through that would meet the concerns of both leave and remain voters but at the current time it looks like people want to bunker down in the trenches rather than find a resolution with the other half of the population. The remain campaign has to bear some responsibility for this as some of them have refused to accept the result of 2016 with any grace and the leave voters have become hardened behind their wish to leave the EU and immune to any effort to persuade them with facts or logic. We all know leaving the EU is going to be shit, in the short term at least. Maybe people don’t care if they think it’s someone else other than themselves who are affected. If Labour lose, I expect within 24 hours of the result being confirmed that Peter Mandelson will speak out against the Labour manifesto. And claim that what the voters want is a return to the ‘centre’ or middle ground. If that’s what people want why is the Liberal vote slipping away? There is no middle way, the state either protects the population from the effects of a capitalist economy or it doesn’t. What should the Labour Party do between now and December 12? It needs to put it’s effort into diminishing the Liberal vote so that the Tories don’t get a majority. Jo Swinson has served in a government with Tories and she is now doing her best to ensure we get another Tory government. The task for the Labour Party has been made harder since Farage decided to be a Tory stooge and not stand against any of their MPs. By doing so they’ve signalled that they’re not a party that is serious about politics and just want to exist to help the Tories. I’m sure they will, if a Tory government is elected, scream that they’re betraying the 2016 referendum vote. Not immediately, but it will happen. Good night. I will try and be more optimistic tomorrow.

Monday 25 November;

A day off, I was quite stressed this morning and needed some space to myself so I cleared some leaves at the back and the front of the house and then went to the tip with mum. I was active with cleaning tasks from the point of waking up and that with the cold weather and not being dressed is not doing my bones any good. Mum has been talking about her mum a lot and going to see her today. It’s been a while since she’s been doing that.

After lunch and a bit of shopping we sat in front of the telly and listened to music together and I phoned my energy company. The government have written to mum saying she may be entitled to a £140 rebate on her energy bills. The trouble is the energy bills are in my name so having phoned EON on Friday I rang back today and have to close my account and open a new account with mum as the account holder. But as there is a discrepancy in the address they have my gas and electric on that they need to correct first. And it takes 24-48 hours before it kicks in. Anyway I either live in the Garden Flat or the Basement Flat and I will now be officially living in the Garden Flat for both my gas and my electric. I explained my mum has dementia and English isn’t her first language. The EON rep said if she gives permission they can speak to me instead. So while listening to canned music I said to her ‘they are going to ask you if you want some money and you need to say yes in English’. She was in a good mood and up for it so a shame the address issues meant we couldn’t complete the changeover today. They will ring back on Thursday. If mum doesn’t play ball they can get an interpreter. But that will hit a brick wall when they try and explain stuff and feed into her suspicion that everyone’s out to deceive and cheat her.

My friends boy would have been 21 today, he didn’t make it due to his sudden death. I sent him a message and look forward to meeting up next month.

Tuesday 26 November;

A bad nights sleep. I woke up at 4 to use the bathroom. Mum was up half an hour later but I told her it was still night and suggested she go back to bed. I’m not sure what she did but she opened the door to our room a few times. Maybe I woke her up but I drifted in and out of sleep for a few hours after that.

A work day. I started the day at home but then found out my laptop had lost all charge having been on since Friday. I then got a call saying my meeting this morning had been cancelled so I trooped into the office, getting there for 9:30. It then took me 40 minutes to try and get my laptop to charge and in the end I called the IT people and they suggested using a paper clip. I kid you not, there is such a primitive solution to a high tech problem. Not many people about in the office today and I made the most of the extra time I had but my workload is increasing as I focus on completing this carer assessment. I arrived home for lunch and mum was peed off with me. She’s been angry with me this evening too although she’s not making much sense when I ask what’s the matter. She didn’t want to eat but then I persuaded her to come to the table and she did and she cheered up. I’m worn out and it’s not nice someone you care for being angry with you.

The main story today is about anti-semitism and Jeremy Corbyn. I don’t think the story will die until he resigns the leadership of the party. That said he could communicate on this issue more clearly, as he could on other issues, but I have the feeling that the anti-semitism accusations are a cover for people who are opposed to him for all sorts of other reasons.

I was mildly cheered by a poll this morning showing Labour on 34%, 8% behind the Tories. Whether that’s as rogue as the one showing a 19% Tory lead the day before we will see.

Wednesday 27 November;

I got up at 7 to make myself a cup of tea. Mum was asleep so for the first time since July I was able to sit with a cup of tea in bed. She woke up just before 8 and she looked well rested.

I wouldn’t get up that early myself if I had a choice but I had to work and left for the office not long after 8. More people about today and for the first time since mum moved in I had lunch with a colleague rather than go home. I spent the day gathering info before I complete a client assessment and I also got involved trying to resolve an issue between two clients in a relationship.

Mum in an ok mood when I got home, she went to bed at 8 and I spoke to two of my sisters and messaged the other and my boys about celebrating mum’s birthday at the end of this year.

Thursday 28 November;

A long day. Up at 7, mum in a good mood until I tried to wash her hair. We tried later in the day and succeeded but got no thanks and a lot of abuse in return. I offered my cheek and told her to punch me as she was calling me all the names under the sun. She laughed, which is what I intended.

We took mum to Tenterden to do grocery shopping, she enjoyed herself and shopping with her can be very expensive if you’re not careful because if something catches her eye it’s in the trolley. I have to remove them when she’s not looking. They’re not even things she likes herself but food items she thinks we will like. Sometimes I can say ‘it’s pork, or it’s got garlic in it, or it’s too peppery’ and she returns the items. On the way back she opened the door whilst we were moving, not very fast and I thought I’d locked the doors but must have unlocked it somehow. I don’t know if she meant to because she looked quite scared.

I phoned EON as I didn’t get a call and we didn’t get very far as when the worker asked my mum to confirm who I was she wouldn’t. I had a letter with my name on it and I pointed to it and she said ‘I can’t see it, it’s too small’. Anyway the worker will send a form through the post asking mum to give EON permission to speak to me.

Friday 29 November;

A working day, up at 7 followed soon by mum, no sitting in bed with a cup of tea today. Worked at home until I went to a meeting and then in the office from lunch onwards. Only one colleague in the office with me all afternoon. Home via the car wash and took mum to get some groceries, which she enjoyed. She told me everyone in Morrisons was speaking Greek and at one point turned to two women in conversation and said ‘galimera’ (good day). She enjoyed pizza for dinner, I’ve noticed she’s not finishing her meals lately and declining sweet dishes after meals. She insisted on going to bed just before 7 but between 8:30 and 9 she was up but wouldn’t come into the lounge. She’s a bit restless in short. She then came and watched telly with me for half an hour at 9:30.

The polls are showing Labour support creeping up. Whether they’ll catch the Tories in the next 13 days I don’t know. I think the public want to hear about something other than Brexit which is the broken record the Tories keep playing.

Saturday 30 November;

A lovely day. Mum in a good mood throughout except for when getting washed. She woke up 8:30 and I took advantage by staying in bed till then. We had a couple of shopping trips and watched Palace beat Burnley two nil. She went to bed 7 pm, she hasn’t got up and wandered so must have been tired enough to sleep.

I read a good article in today’s Guardian magazine about Sean Smith following Jeremy Corbyn on the campaign trail. This is the link



and the above is a photo of him in his Islington North constituency.

Sunday 1 December;

Up 7:30 am, mum in a good mood.

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